Pastors are called to be shepherds, guiding and protecting the flock of God. However, some take that role beyond biblical authority and turn into domineering figures who control, intimidate, and even harm those under their care. I remember a situation where a man came to pastor a church. His father came and preached a sermon, and from the pulpit, he said, "Since my son is going to be in charge of this place, I thought I had better come down and check it out." It went downhill from there. I remember a situation where this pastor angrily belittled a man before me for using a piece of equipment without permission. Another man, perceived as a threat, was dismissed as "just a kid." The young man eventually had to leave. After starting a church, the young preacher came back to that church for a missions conference. He was confronted by the bully pastor and accused of being there to "steal sheep." After the mission's meeting, several of the pastor's men met him outside and attempted to intimidate him into not returning. Ironically, the pastor bully’s church eventually closed down, while the young man’s church continued to grow.
While firm leadership is necessary in the church, there is a clear difference between biblical pastoral authority and abusive control. A pastor bully does not simply lead—he dominates. He does not just correct—he belittles. He does not just guard doctrine—he isolates people to preserve his own power.
Traits of a Pastor Bully
Controls Through Fear and Intimidation – Instead of leading with grace, he keeps people in line by making examples of those who dare to challenge him.
Demeans and Dismisses Others – Those who question him are labeled as troublemakers, rebels, or ignorant. He attempts to minimize threats by belittling others publicly and privately.
Guards His Power at All Costs – Rather than protecting the church from genuine doctrinal error, he restricts outside influences to prevent losing control. This isn’t about biblical discernment but about self-preservation.
Surrounds Himself with ‘Yes-Men’ – Loyal followers enforce his rule, silencing dissenters and ensuring that only those who support him hold leadership roles.
Uses Spiritual Manipulation – Twisting Scripture, he equates loyalty to him with loyalty to God, making any disagreement seem like rebellion against divine authority.
Eliminates Threats – Whether through intimidation, public shaming, or pushing people out, anyone who challenges his rule eventually finds themselves forced to leave.
Overcorrects Due to Past Hurts – Some pastor bullies have been burned by betrayal or have heard horror stories about church rebellions. In response, they swing too far in the opposite direction, using excessive control to prevent perceived threats.
Loves to Have the Preeminence - Diotrephes (3 John 9-10) - The apostle John warned against a man named Diotrephes, who “loveth to have the preeminence” and refused to receive godly brethren, even casting faithful believers out of the church. Diotrephes is a biblical example of a pastor bully—he sought to dominate the church, rejected accountability, and expelled those who didn’t submit to his control. His actions serve as a warning of what happens when a pastor becomes more concerned with maintaining his own power than with shepherding God’s people in truth and humility.
Dogmatism Beyond Doctrine – Some pastor bullies are theologically sound but push their personal opinions as though they are divine law. Instead of recognizing areas where believers can have legitimate differences, they demand full agreement on secondary issues and intimidate those who dare to see things differently.
Biblical Traits of a Good Pastor
Leads with Humility (1 Peter 5:2-3) – A true shepherd serves willingly and sets an example rather than lording over the flock. Peter exhorts pastors, “neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.” This verse directly contradicts the mindset of a pastor bully. The phrase “God’s heritage” reminds pastors that the church does not belong to them but to God. A biblical shepherd does not rule with an iron fist but leads by example, showing what it means to walk in humility, faithfulness, and love. When Moses was challenged, he fell on his face before the congregation rather than lashing out. When Jesus' disciples wanted to call down fire from heaven on those who slighted Him, Jesus rebuked them.
Seeks Peace and Reconciliation (Romans 12:18) – A godly leader strives for unity rather than division and intimidation. When God was going to destroy the rebels, Moses interceded for them rather than delighting in their destruction.
Corrects with Gentleness (2 Timothy 2:24-25) – Even when confronting error, a faithful pastor does so with patience and humility.
Values Counsel and Accountability (Proverbs 11:14) – Instead of surrounding himself with ‘yes-men,’ he welcomes wise input from mature believers.
Encourages Growth and Independence (Ephesians 4:11-12) – A good pastor equips believers to serve Christ, not just to serve him.
Trusts God’s Sovereignty (Philippians 1:6) – Instead of micromanaging out of fear, he trusts that God, not human control, sustains the church. In contrast, Diotrephes (3 John 9-10) loved to have the preeminence and rejected those who did not submit to him.
Serves Rather than Lords Over Others (Matthew 20:25-28) – Jesus taught that leadership in His kingdom is not about control but about servanthood. When Jesus’ disciples argued about who would be the greatest, Jesus responded, “Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” True spiritual leadership is not about control, but about service. A pastor bully mirrors the leadership of the world—grasping for power and preeminence—rather than the leadership of Christ, who humbled Himself and served.
The Damage a Pastor Bully Inflicts
Spiritually Oppressed Congregations – Church members live in fear rather than in the joy and freedom of Christ. These flocks can develop a cultic mentality where they see themselves as the only ones who are right.
Broken Relationships – Families and friendships are torn apart as people are sometimes forced to take sides.
Suppressed Growth – Ministries may stagnate because innovation and input are stifled unless they align with the pastor’s will.
Disillusionment and Departure – Many leave, not just the church, but sometimes the faith itself, struggling to separate the abusive leader from biblical Christianity.
Eventual Collapse – Without repentance, many pastor-led dictatorships implode, either from dwindling attendance or public scandal.
How to Handle a Pastor Bully For Church Members:
Recognize the Signs – Understand when strong leadership crosses the line into abusive control.
Stand Together – Bullies thrive on isolating individuals. A unified group can resist manipulation.
Appeal to Biblical Authority – Hold the pastor accountable to Scripture, not just tradition or personal preference.
Seek Wise Counsel – If the situation escalates, consult with respected outside pastors or denominational leaders (if applicable).
Know When to Leave – If change is impossible, leaving may be the only way to preserve spiritual health.
For Pastors Who Recognize These Tendencies in Themselves:
Repent and Seek Accountability – Acknowledge sinful tendencies and invite trusted leaders to hold you accountable.
Embrace Servant Leadership – Follow Christ’s model of humility rather than worldly models of power.
Encourage Open Dialogue – Create an environment where people feel safe to ask questions and express concerns.
Prioritize People Over Position – Ministry is about shepherding souls, not securing authority.
A pastor is called to shepherd God’s people, not to dominate them. A pastor’s authority is given by God for the good of the church, not for self-exaltation. When that authority turns into tyranny, it damages the body of Christ and dishonors the very calling of ministry. The only cure for a pastor bully is genuine repentance and a return to biblical, servant-hearted leadership. Whether you are a church member suffering under such leadership or a pastor recognizing these tendencies in yourself, the call is the same: submit to Christ, not to personal power. Churches must be vigilant, recognizing these traits and upholding the biblical standard of leadership that Christ Himself modeled—one of humility, service, and sacrificial love.
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