Leadership should be marked by wisdom, humility, and a commitment to truth. However, in many environments, leadership becomes a means of control—an exercise in maintaining dominance rather than fostering growth. One of the most insidious ways this is accomplished is through gatekeeping and manipulation, often masked as discernment, authority, or even spiritual oversight. Let's talk about this!
Gate-keeping and The Fallacy of Second-hand Knowledge
A dangerous mindset prevalent in many leadership circles is the assumption that a person’s character, ability, and worth can be fully evaluated by consulting a few select individuals. This was made painfully clear to me in a conversation with a pastor about Hometown Hope. Since he didn’t know me, I was prepared to share some information about myself, my background, and the work God has allowed me to do. But before I could, he stopped me and said, "That won't be necessary. I can ask five people about you and know everything I need to know."
This is deeply flawed thinking.
Reliance on secondhand knowledge is one of the greatest dangers in ministry circles. The idea that “I can ask five people about you and know everything I need to know” assumes that:
Those five people are unbiased. (They aren’t.)
Those five people have the full picture. (They don’t.)
Those five people can be trusted to tell the truth. (Not always.)
That statement struck me—and not in a good way. It was pompous, self-aggrandizing, and dangerous. It revealed a mindset that is far too common in ministry circles: the belief that a small group of people can act as the final judges of another person’s reputation, character, and usefulness. This isn't just flawed reasoning; it is a method of control, manipulation, and self-exaltation, yet it is common in ministry circles where leaders take the lazy way out and rely on their preferred voices (spies) rather than personal engagement. Instead of exercising biblical discernment, they trust a select group to act as judges, juries, and gatekeepers.
This approach to people is used to:
Keep people in line – When you think about it more deeply, this approach creates an environment that keeps people in line through fear of reputation destruction. People who are treated in this fashion can come to the point where they will be hesitant to engage with someone or do something based on what someone else will say about them. If your reputation can be made or broken by five voices, you’ll be careful not to upset them.
Control narratives – A select few decide who is trustworthy and who is not. Secondhand knowledge is potentially flawed, limited, and can be weaponized to control people rather than to seek truth. If a leader can shape the narrative about someone, they can effectively manipulate, isolate, or even silence them. True discernment cannot be outsourced to a handful of biased voices. Certain leaders insist that they alone are trustworthy sources, dismissing others as uninformed, dangerous, or even spiritually suspect. This keeps people dependent on them for truth, unable to form their own opinions and convictions. This is a form of manipulation. This tactic aligns with the spirit of Diotrephes in 3 John 9-10, who refused to receive the brethren and “prated against them with malicious words.” He kept people isolated and uninformed to maintain his power. Today, this happens in churches where leaders dictate who is “safe” and who must be avoided—not based on biblical discernment, but on the leader’s need to control the narrative.
Limit usefulness – Many good men are pushed to the sidelines based on perception rather than truth.
Build kingdoms – Those in power determine who gets "in" and who stays "out."
Bolster self-importance – The ability to "vet" others feeds the pride of those who think they are the gatekeepers of ministry.
Again, I emphasize, that this is a toxic, unbiblical way to assess people. It flies in the face of biblical discernment, fairness, and wisdom. It protects self-made empires rather than advancing God's kingdom. Worst of all, it misrepresents God's call on a person’s life by reducing it to human politics.
In this article, I want to expose this destructive mindset, counter it with biblical truth, and challenge pastors and Christians alike to adopt a better standard—one based on truth, humility, and actual discernment rather than hearsay and ego.
The Bible Warns Against Premature Judgment
Scripture is clear about the danger of relying on secondhand information, which is often shallow and skewed:
Proverbs 18:13 – “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” - Judging without hearing the full story is foolish and shameful.
John 7:24 – “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.” - True judgment requires righteousness and wisdom, not hearsay.
1 Samuel 16:7 – “For the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” - Human assessments are often surface-level and incomplete.
Biblical discernment requires wisdom, patience, and direct engagement. Anything less is unrighteous judgment.
Consider this also. Discernment is not just about accurately evaluating the past or the present but also about recognizing potential for future fruit. Many have been wrongly judged or cast aside because leaders lacked godly discernment, relying instead on instinct/bias, echo chambers, and self-interest. But true discernment is God-centered, not man-centered. The book of Proverbs, along with biblical examples like Joseph and Jonah, teaches us how to judge rightly. Consider these points.
1. Discernment Looks Beyond the Surface
The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom on this:
Proverbs 3:5-7 – “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. - Human judgment is fallible. We must seek God’s wisdom rather than leaning on our own perceptions.
Proverbs 18:17 – “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.” - The first story we hear is often one-sided. It is true that discernment may require investigation and hearing from multiple perspectives, but to deny the individual being "investigated" the opportunity to speak for themselves is nothing short of injustice.
Many have been wrongly judged because men assumed they knew everything about them without taking time to search out the truth.
2. Discernment Evaluates Potential for Fruitfulness
Some leaders only look at current success or failure, failing to recognize God’s hand in shaping the future. True discernment considers:
Not just where a person is, but where they are going.
Not just their past failures, but how God is working in them now.
Not just their current influence, but their potential to bear fruit.
Jesus taught this principle. In John 15:16, He said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain." - Fruitfulness is a process, and God sees long-term potential that men often overlook.
If Joseph had been judged only by his circumstances, he would have been labeled a failure, a slave, a prisoner. But God saw his future fruit and placed him in leadership over Egypt.
3. Opposition Doesn’t Stop God’s Plan
There is no doubt that God gives influence to some people, and they can open doors for others (or close them)—but when people unjustly isolate and reject you, it can seem like they are hindering God’s plan for your life. How you react to this injustice can make or break you.
This is where we must remember Joseph. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph said, “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." Joseph was rejected by his brothers, sold into slavery, and falsely accused, yet God overruled thier evil and elevated him. His narrative could not be controlled by others, unless he allowed it to be. He kept doing right until all of his doubters and haters had to see the truth.
We must also, at this point remember Jonah's perspective. God—not man—determines a person’s influence. As flawed as Jonah was, he recognized one thing very important. He could have said the sailors cast him into the sea to destroy him. He could have said that fish was the problem. But, he rightly understood that God was over-ruling and was behind it all (Jonah 2:3).
When Jonah was meditating on his circumstance, he made the following statement, Jonah 2:3 “For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas...” Jonah didn’t blame the sailors or the fish—he saw God’s hand in it. Sometimes God allows rejection and hardship to teach us, prepare us, and redirect us toward His greater plan.
If we trust God, no earthly gatekeeper can block His plans. When unjust men cut us off, misjudge us, or isolate us, we need not look at this as a final judgment or decision—it is God’s classroom. He is still in control.
4. True Discernment Requires Humility and Fear of God
Proverbs 9:10 states, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” Without a true fear of God, leaders can mistake their opinions for discernment.
James 3:17 teaches, “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” True biblical wisdom is impartial—it does not cater to inner circles, biases, or selfish motives. There are certainly men who claim to have discernment, but in reality, are actually practicing favoritism, exclusion, and self-preservation. God calls for pure, impartial, merciful, and fruit-bearing discernment.
God is the Judge, Not Man
No amount of man-made gatekeeping, judgment, or rejection can override God’s plan. If Joseph had believed the rejection of men, he would have never become second-in-command of Egypt. When unjust men cut us off, misjudge us, or isolate us, we need not look at this as a final judgement or decision—it is God’s classroom. He is still in control.
The fruit of true discernment is wisdom, righteousness, and divine purpose. The fruit of false discernment is exclusion, control, and self-promotion.
The question is: If you are in a position of leadership/influence, which fruit are you bearing?
The Danger of Echo Chambers
Secondhand knowledge often exists in echo chambers—small, tight-knit circles where the same voices reinforce the same narratives. These echo chambers:
Reward loyalty over genuine truth-seeking and discernment – Some people are lazy and just say what the leader wants to hear. some leaders are time-strapped and believe only what they are told by their "yes men."
Repeat misinformation – A false narrative can become “truth” simply because it’s repeated enough.
Limit growth and new perspectives – Fresh ideas and new people are dismissed without real consideration.
Many good men have been wrongly judged and discarded simply because the wrong five people didn’t like them.
7. People Change – and So Should Our Evaluations
Another flaw in this thinking is that people grow, mature, and change. A man who struggled 10 years ago may now be seasoned and wise, but if he is still being judged based on old perceptions, he will never be given a fair opportunity.
Would Paul have been accepted if people only asked his old persecutor friends about him (Acts 9:26-27)? Would Peter have been written off after denying Christ, if they didn't know the rest of the story (Luke 22:61-62)? Would John Mark have been forever discarded, by some, for abandoning Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:37-39; 2 Timothy 4:11)?
If God allows people to grow, why do we assume that our secondhand knowledge is permanent and absolute?
What I am discussing isn’t just an abstract/theoretical problem; I’ve lived it firsthand. Years ago, I attended a Bible college because I wanted to learn, grow, and be better equipped for ministry. I wasn’t looking for power, status, or approval—I simply knew there were things I needed to know. Because of that desire, I tried to engage with leadership, ask questions, and gain insight from decision-makers.
But instead of being encouraged, I was misjudged. Someone assumed that I was just trying to "get in with the right people"—that I was angling for influence rather than seeking wisdom. Not only was this assumption wrong, but it hurt. I was young and inexperienced, and I didn’t know how to respond.
Shortly after that, I overheard two people in leadership talking negatively about me. They questioned why I had left my church to come to school, making assumptions about my motives without ever actually talking to me. The Whispering campaign had begun.
In just a few moments, I got a glimpse behind the curtain. It wasn’t about getting to know me, my heart, or my purpose—it was about maintaining and protecting an "inside group." This is the same mindset that fuels the "I can ask five people about you"approach. It filters out people based on perception rather than reality and places more value on controlling access than on developing people, through relationships.
It is this Gate-Keeper mentality that leads to suppressive and manipulative behavior. Behaviors like these:
Creating Fear to Silence Opposition
Manipulative leadership frequently fosters an atmosphere of fear to discourage challenges. This may come in the form of:
Public rebukes or exclusion for questioning authority.
Rumors and whisper campaigns against those who step out of line.
Warnings against associating with certain individuals to prevent the free exchange of ideas.
Proverbs 29:25 warns, "The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe." Those who use fear to maintain power are setting a trap for themselves and others.
Manipulation Through Humiliation
A common tactic of controlling leaders is the deliberate use of public embarrassment or humiliation to keep people fearful, suppressed, and submissive. Rather than creating a culture of learning, they manufacture an environment of fear.
For example, I once observed a leader ask a complex question—one that had multiple reasonable answers. Several people responded thoughtfully, attempting to work through the issue. Yet, the leader rejected all responses and presented an answer of his own, one that no one else had given. Rather than guiding the discussion toward growth, he used the moment to assert his dominance, basically ensuring that people would think twice before speaking up again. The result? Future silence. People became afraid to answer for fear of being humiliated.
This is not leadership. This is control. A true leader does not use knowledge to suppress others but to build them up. Proverbs 16:21 says, "The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning." A godly leader increases learning, not fear.
The Hypocrisy of the Standard
Those who engage in this mafia-style gatekeeping often hold others to impossible standards that they themselves do not meet.
They demand unquestioning loyalty while showing no loyalty to those they discard.
They insist on submission to leadership, yet refuse to submit to biblical accountability.
They preach forgiveness and grace, yet practice exclusion and rejection based on rumor and personal bias.
Jesus warned against such hypocrisy: “For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers” (Matthew 23:4). When leaders demand from others what they themselves refuse to practice, they reveal their true motives—power, not godliness.
A Better Way - A Call to Action
If you find yourself in an environment dominated by manipulative leadership, take these steps:
Examine everything by Scripture. Acts 17:11 commends the Bereans for searching the Scriptures daily to confirm truth.
Encourage open inquiry and learning. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Growth happens through dialogue, not suppression.
Judge righteously, not by appearance or hearsay. John 7:24 instructs, “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.” Before forming an opinion on someone, seek firsthand knowledge.
Refuse to participate in gossip or secondhand judgments. Proverbs 26:20 reminds us that “where no wood is, there the fire goeth out.”
Seek godly counsel from those outside the manipulative system. Proverbs 11:14 teaches, “In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”
Trust God to be your defender. Recognize that God—not man—determines a person’s influence. Psalm 75:7 declares, “But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.”
The gatekeeping mentality is a product of fear, control, and self-importance—not biblical discernment. The idea that a leader can determine someone’s entire character and future influence by consulting a few select individuals is a fallacy that ultimately feeds pride, leads to manipulative behavior, and produces hypocrisy. A biblical leader does not seek to control, humiliate, or exclude; he enables, equips, encourages, and points people to Christ.
The real gatekeeper is God Himself, and He alone opens doors that no man can shut and shuts doors that no man can open.
Read the words of this song and be strengthened.
🎵 YOU’RE STILL GOD🎵 (McKameys)
Verse1.
I thought that it would happen to anyone but me
I never dreamed that I would carry this heavy burden on my knees
I never thought that I’d be standing just where I stand today
I’ve never known this kind of heartbreak break I’ve never felt this kind of pain, but….
Chorus
You’re still God when my eyes have cried a million tears
You’re still God when my last hope has disappeared
You’re still God and I know you’ll make a way somehow
You’re still God and you’re holding me right now
Verse 2.
My heart can’t find the answer or the reason for this trial
But, Lord I know your ways are perfect and you’ve been watching all the while
For to me you’ve proven faithful time and time again
And I’m learning Lord to trust you even when I don’t understand
Don't be discouraged, my friend. Keep pressing on.
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